The Motorcycle Diaries
Banana
I bought my yellow Honda Firestorm (1) in 98, and I really loved the bike, fantastic punch out of bends, easy to get on with, quite comfortable and in typical Honda fashion extremely reliable and rot free
Time for a change
Then came the CMC open weekend, so taking advantage of the circumstances, I tried several Yamaha’s, from the giggly Drag Queen (sorry Star) to the FJR1300…. That evening getting back onto my trusty Firestorm I noticed how uncomfortable I felt, leaning forward and high knees. I realised that all the bikes I tried had high bars and low pegs and I felt very much at home on them…
A Triumph of engineering?
From that moment I looked around to replace the banana with a sit up and beg type, finding one in May last year at Big Rock (RIP) in Stapleford, a Triumph Legend (2) at a knock down ‘managers special’ (Hah!) price, after some bartering with a bearded tee shirt and leather waistcoat chap we struck a deal costing me little enough to get it by my financial advisor, immediate supervisor & pillion pal without too much complaint.
Easy rider
The Triumph was a revelation in comfort around town especially, I could actually touch the floor with both heels never mind toes, excellent steering lock and growling Hinckley triple… didn't take me long to drill out the baffles either.
All was not well after the initial ecstasy, semi-cruiser meant no fairing, no fairing meant huge wind blast, and ‘only’ 70bhp meant two up required more thought when overtaking or stopping. But I managed to get quite a few miles ridden in between work, holidays, wet weekends and ‘enforced’ diy tasks
Junk mail
February 2003 MCN dropped through my letter box as it does every week, Riossi ever keen to dispose of excess stocks, were advertising an Aprilia RST1000 Futura, ex-demo for £4899, “Ooh a V twin again, loads more power and a fairing, never mind the huge seat and sports tourer comfort… got to get me one of those…”
Sold!
“Hello, I’m interested in the Futura you are advertising”, “sorry they have all gone, have you considered a new one” said the young yorkshire lad, “Not a chance they are far too expensive”, “How about an extra £100” he said…
After I picked myself off the floor and scrambled to get my credit card out of my wallet (which had been super glued in by my financial advisor), I ordered a silver Futura (3) with Datatool System 3 alarm for just over 5 grand…
Taxing
The ‘Robocop’ (3) bike, as my bankruptcy advisor calls it, came a week later complete with YN03 plates…
“Oh No”, it’s got to sit on my patio for two more weeks till March, as the Trumpet (2) still has occupancy of my purpose built bike garage (shed) till warmer weather comes along and I can sell it privately.
March comes, and before March came a Scottoiler and a set of non-colour matching Aprilia panniers, being a bit of a bargain hunter I saw these advertised new in Dark Blue for half the price they should be. A trip to Halfords for some silver spray paint will do nicely thank you.
Sorry mate I didna see ya
Just three weeks later, getting used to the power and comfort of a big twin again, I can only get 1 set of toes down at a time - the Futura is a tall bike, and I gradually forget everything I have learned, especially hazard awareness and management.
Yup you guessed it, in common with the majority of bike accidents involving a car, a dozy, blind Fiesta driving grey haired (hmm I’m grey haired) man decides nothing is coming so turns right out of a side road, just when I’m 20 metres away.
Making progress
Hindsight is a wonderful thing, no moving to other side of road, no drastic slowing down, no horn, just “Oh Shiiiiit!” crash, wheee, and bump.
I steered to avoid the unavoidable, pulled on the excellent Brembos with a vice like grip (which still is in physiotherapy) and laid a darky right up to his off-side wheel arch, where I parked the bike and did the ‘superman’ over his bonnet (Mr Laughton – you would have been proud) and went to test my CE armour up the road.
The white van man
By some kind of divine intervention I was almost totally unhurt, I got up and remembered to get off the road quick, and walked some distance back to the scene of the crash.
The Futura (ex 3) was still parked where I left it. “You came out of nowhere” he says, which is a variation of the “I didn’t see you mate” sentence often spoken in these situations… details swapped, we then attempted to move the now 6 wheeler off the road.
I would like to thank the anonymous van driver who pulled up, and helped me push the remains of the Futura (ex 3) into his Van and took both of us home, just ½ a mile up the road!
ABS
The scrappers came to collect the Futura (ex 3) since the vehicle engineer / examiner / loss adjuster decided, a hexagonal front wheel, one bent fork, one lock stop and most of the plastics constitutes a financial write off!. Back on the Legend (2) again.
It can’t go on, once I have decided to get a new bike even my commercial associate cannot dissuade me, and it’s bike-hunting season again.
“Hmm”, me thinks, “It’s my birthday in May, so what can I get myself from everyone?”
“Something with ABS!!!!” so it’s off to Pidcocks, the ever favourite and recent award winner in Rider Power… several visits later and glum returns back home, I cannot decide which BMW to get, shall it be the K1200 with ABS, the R1100S with ABS or the R1150RT with ABS….
“How much!” she cried, I decide not to buy a BMW
Good deal
So it’s off to Pidcocks the ever favourite etc etc. This time I get a great deal on a VFR800 V4 Vtec with ABS (4) and £1000 more than I paid for it for the Legend (2) in part exchange.
Alarming
Two weeks on, I have installed the Scottoiler, fitted an alarm (more later), heated over grips and waited for the rains to stop…
Still waiting for the insurers to pay up for the Futura (3), the rain to stop and my appointment for its first service, and while I am waiting for the rain to stop I re-read my “Pass your Advanced Motorcycle Test” book, so I don’t have to test the effectiveness of ABS.
The Alarm!, my insurance company demanded I have a class 1 alarm fitted before they would insure me, so I tried to book an appointment for one to be fitted, being this time of year, I would have had to wait several weeks, so I looked for an alternative.
Sola-Larm, who are famous for low cost budget self install alarms also have a Thatcham approved Insurance class one professional fit alarm, the SLA-835T, and if you are a qualified electrical/automotive engineer they will sell you one for £105 including VAT and carriage, (many years ago I was a vehicle electrician for a Ford dealership), so I qualified – just.
The alarm was straightforward to fit, instructions are well written, it’s just up to you to find the appropriate circuits to immobilise, and nice Honda people give you a wiring diagram in the manual so the VFR was almost a doddle.
Budget on a few more quid for heat shrink sleeving, soldering iron and solder, black pvc tape and cable ties, and about 3-5 undisturbed hours.
Divorce?
4 bikes in one year broke but still married….
My thanks to Rita my wife, companion and best friend, especially for not banning me from having a new bike.
and now.....
H-D
My pride and joy, slow yes, but very well made, reliable, quiet (not!), comfortable and if a Fiesta dare to get in the way, I know which will come off worst...
Bugger!
Oh well..... sold the Harley to pay for building work in Bulgaria.. bugger!